 Saturday, February 12, 2005
I just have to hold on a bit longer...I just had to..Please? Dear Dad, Maybe somehow you just have to give me a life you never had.But somehow,as I grew older,and you are getting older,there is a wide gap between us.I just dont understand why sometimes,you just have to scold me for no reason.But i try my best to understand.I learnt a phrase that if a man does his best,what else is there to be done?But I will try then.Dont blame me if I always go to work,never stayed at home.If i cant understand,then I will try my best to get out of the way.Seems like its working for me.But then,what will happened to the family reunion?Then,I feel that theres no family love at all.You may never know the emotional pain I experienced with friends,with lovers and pressure.The word trust for me is very important.Not just for me,but for everyone.And that trust played an important part in the family.Only family can be trusted.Not friends or whoever. I never said Im perfect.But I try to be perfect.I try to pass my test my everything.To show our cousins that,if their sons and daughters can do it,so can I.But a seed wont grow into a leaf overnight right?You just have to give me time.Doesnt mean that I did not study means Im lazy.Im just tired from work.And when you questions me when I came home from work,I always answer in a moody way.Im just tired.I need time for myself sometimes.I knew,there are friends could help,but most of it,I help myself.My brother always work work work work.And somehow,I dont feel the warmth between the family.I feel cold. When I was down in the past,I had to look after myself.Stop the tears from flowing when you enter the room.I just dont want you to know that Im having problems.I feel tired and weary after school.I just feel old.Feel old like you.Yes,I gave you problems last year.But why dont you forgive me?I wished everything was like last time.I wished you talk to us in a nice way.I just want happiness.Thats all Dad.If this goes on,I guess im not a use in the family. Why am I crying as I wrote this down?The emotional pain that twirls my heart,may lead to suicide at times.And if I died,my small brother wont know the real reason why Im not here at this house anymore.I just feel deppressed thats all.... Sigh.... Sign, Mohd Azri Bin Samsuddin (1989-living) |
myself 
who am i? turning 20cents this year.(18 at heart). wandering around a small city called singapore is the most favourable pastime we all liked to do. sure you can complain but nothing beats the safety and security here. a city so small that somewhat, each of us is connected. such as your bapok used to be my bestfriend and the shotgun marriage girl next to your door used to be the brightest student in class. so yeah. i love it here. XD so yerp. serving my ns right now. basically im wasting time and using up the money they gave me. nodding my head in agreement to what they say and to look at em with the brightest eyes i could give. cant wait to go back to school and see all the little boys and bitches act like as if they know everything. 02 december 2010. world cup and ORDoooo!!! lol. thats as much as i could fill you in. anyways, does anyone knows how to permanently remove a moustache? mom says its a man thing but i think people with moustache are the most evil person on earth cept for dad. and oh lastly, i love my friends as much as they love me eventho i dont know how the fuck people calculate love. what measurement unit is it suppose to be? kilovegrams? and oh wait! when a friend came up to you and say, "Relax, theres many fishes in the sea." Do remember to give a middle finger and say this, "fishes? theres more bitches in there eating up all the fishes now." look around dear friend, sex is important to us now, that some of the youth considered it as a 2nd Language. :D |