I realised that I usually wrote my entries in the middle of the night where people are sleeping and dreaming.I got a weird characteristics thats all.

Well,like Mrh,I got a prank call from a private number.And I was sleeping in the bus as I headed work.I was feeling fuck for waking me up.The voice tries to be grouchy and gore.What the hell.So I put down the phone and slept again.

Met a long friend that I met in sec 2 camp.He work same place as me.Ljs.Yeah..so we talked about why the hell he climbed over the gates and ran away from the camp with his stupid mates.In fact,the camera's enjoyingly looking at them.

So,I went home.Walking alone.Smoking my lungs out.Trying to hide the scary feelings of the eerie road.And I began to think.What am I going to do next.Im already scared of what you think and Im scared what going to happened.I really wished I could shoot myself and die.

People may think that Im someone who is typical.But to tell you the truth Im not.I intepret your actions and from there,I can find what you are doing and what your intentions are.But I dont do these infront of the person itself.I did it behind their backs and eventually surprised them when the time comes.Sometimes,its a wonder how far people could go just to lie and hide their stupid tricks.

As I am smoking and thinking at the same time,I looked at the sky night.It seems that theres no stars.I feel so melancholic.After such a very long time,the feelings came back.The feeling where your heart will jump non-stop.Cant wait to look at the person blog.Wondering what the person did today...

We cant force love.We really cant.But why must it hurt so much when it came to my favour?Why must I be in the wrong moments of time.I never blame god like i did last time.I never will.Instead,I blamed myself and hurt myself as time ticks by.Let my feelings and emotions engulf my world till it darkens and I started not making sense.I been there once.Somehow,I wished that one day I could be in the perfect moment and I would make a person day and lived happily ever after.

My body shivered as I typed my blog.It shook my body totally for the first time.I dont know why.I feel nervous and I cant sleep.

Whats wrong with me?I starting to fall again.Starting to be in a position where I will always be emo.Sensitive to hurtful words.I need a reason.Sigh.

I reminded myself to erased myself from you so that to make you sure that things are not going to happen.To make you sure that you just woke up from a dream.To make sure things are pure normal for you.But behind it,theres somebody who went for the extra mile just to see you smile.Someone regards himself a failure in your life.Nevermind if it may hurt me but as long you're on your road and on the right track then things may be fine.I never want to leave you just to make yourself miserable.I never intend.But I cant see myself like these.Whatever is hurting you,you must remember that its hurting me more.Im trying to do everyone a favour.I look back the messages you sent me and it makes me sigh.To know how we both quarrells and how we both mend for each other hurtful feelings.How I tried to change you for your egoistics.And how you stop me from being stupid.But its all past and I knew people change.Thats why,my hopes and confidence is low on you.

Can i just bleed and see you watch me die?

If you'd be honest and say what you mean,
you know I would promise I'd do anything,
because I know that without you I'm giving it away.

p.s.Happy Birthday....Forgive my hesitation..

Happy Birthday,Happy Birthday,
Go ahead and blow the candles away,
Make a wish,Make a wish,
A wish that no one heart will bleed,

Run and still continue running,
Whispering and sharing your secrets when no one is looking,
Laugh and continue laughing,
So that you wont see yourself crying,

Dont sit as the clock ticks the moments away,
You know it wont follow according to your own way,
Dont try to play pretend and things are well,
Cause you know deep down your heart swells,

Hush,let the silence takes over your sleep,
Wakes up and find things are prefectly normal,
As I fall somewhere deep........
And I find it o.k.....





1:57 AM