 Sunday, August 14, 2005
She didnt go out.With me.And I knew it that she went out with other people.I knew it.And its ok.Its ok.Everythings ok when its not. And I went out with Shublei.Head town like we did on our thursday townite.I didnt laugh like I did.Im sorry Shublei.But we did laugh as our helicopter crashed into a building.Head woodlands and met the ph boys.. And how dissapointed it seems to be for me when I beg for a day's off today just to celebrate your birthday.And how dissapointed am I when I helped you in times of crisis and this is what I get.Like I said many times in here,I used to give in people but when in times of my favour,I didnt get nothing.I never asked for anything and I never asked for being hurt.I never did.I know I did wrong to people but,did you see me covering up for it?Did I?I swear I did. Nevermind.If this is what people wants for me.I will change.I promised I will change.Change for myself not for the people anymore.God knows why the hell Im crying. Reasons? Did I ever give any reasons when I help?Did I?I never did.I helped people like its my part-time job.... And to think I dont know how to pick myself up just like Mrh said.I guess its true.Thats why I hate being hurt.Who dont hate?And to think that pain is a pleasure.It is sometimes.Sadness leads to anger.Anger leads to pain.And pain leads to changes.I hate when it comes to the anger part.It leads to pain.And it will hurt me.Very hurt.... Sad?How can I not be sad if people are making it? If people got their own reasons to dissapoint me,why cant I say that I have my own reasons to dissapoint them back.Dissapoint them and make their life miserable?Like last time.Why cant I?I bet I wont cause you know I put myself in people shoes..... Im so fucking deppressed that I asked Shublei to ton at my house and I will be paying for his mid-night charge.And I even seek advices from someone I know not more than 6 months and we werent even that close.God..See how far people can do when they are fucking depressed.God...Please... Leave you and make your life miserable?I never intend but look at me now... Its a lie.A kiss with open eyes.. Happy Birthday,Happy Birthday, Go ahead and blow the candles away, Make a wish,Make a wish, A wish that no one heart will bleed, Run and still continue running, Whispering and sharing your secrets when no one is looking, Laugh and continue laughing, So that you wont see yourself crying, Dont sit as the clock ticks the moments away, You know it wont follow according to your own way, Dont try to play pretend and things are well, Cause you know deep down your heart swells, Hush,let the silence takes over your sleep, Wakes up and find things are prefectly normal, As I fall somewhere deep........ And I find it o.k..... P.s.No surprises please.......fun without me is actually fun afterall... |
myself 
who am i? turning 20cents this year.(18 at heart). wandering around a small city called singapore is the most favourable pastime we all liked to do. sure you can complain but nothing beats the safety and security here. a city so small that somewhat, each of us is connected. such as your bapok used to be my bestfriend and the shotgun marriage girl next to your door used to be the brightest student in class. so yeah. i love it here. XD so yerp. serving my ns right now. basically im wasting time and using up the money they gave me. nodding my head in agreement to what they say and to look at em with the brightest eyes i could give. cant wait to go back to school and see all the little boys and bitches act like as if they know everything. 02 december 2010. world cup and ORDoooo!!! lol. thats as much as i could fill you in. anyways, does anyone knows how to permanently remove a moustache? mom says its a man thing but i think people with moustache are the most evil person on earth cept for dad. and oh lastly, i love my friends as much as they love me eventho i dont know how the fuck people calculate love. what measurement unit is it suppose to be? kilovegrams? and oh wait! when a friend came up to you and say, "Relax, theres many fishes in the sea." Do remember to give a middle finger and say this, "fishes? theres more bitches in there eating up all the fishes now." look around dear friend, sex is important to us now, that some of the youth considered it as a 2nd Language. :D |