Just got back home and here I am typing my blog after I finished my praying.Yes,I started praying now and I know its unbelievable and impossible because Im not that religious type of guy.But,after praying,I found that,I feel a bit light hearted.My tears nearly rolled out as I ask God for forgiveness and favours.I feel so guilty.When times hard and you got no one to turn to and even your love ones ignored you,you will eventually go to God.For God are the one who make your life but it is us who makes our DESTINY.

I had S.s and Mt listening comprehension.I really did my best in my Social Studies and I put my best knowledge and logical thinking to it.Hopefully I will pass.Anyways,I noticed that Im drawing alot.

Went to tuition instead of skipping and the sudden enjoyment of doing maths began to interest me now.I enjoyed doing Paper 1 and I got 80% correct.I feel so happy for myself as I dont laze around.Azri(theres a guy who name is also same as me) jokes around and we both laugh at our silly mistakes in Maths.Im a guy who donts know the answer and just dreamed around and he,who knows the answer to it but he do it half way.He is so funny when he does that.Sometimes when I looked at his paper to find clues and hints but in the end I found half written work!Yes,he is totally clever and he is the first person that seriously object my ideas of lazing around during the school holidays and he said I should study.Thanks Azri.Next time bring fags ok?Because I dont have that much money now.

Speaking of fags,I realised I smoked heavily today.More than 10 KRETEKS sticks.I dont know why.Maybe Im too stressed out.Have you ever heard the fags called Gudang Garam,diary?I bet you dont because you are just blog and here I am writting so Im going to tell you about it.Gudang Garam is a grandfather and uncle fags.Why?Because its sweet and can take you more than 15 minutes to finish it alone if you smoke bit by bit.But I broke record by smoking 3 Gudang Garam alone in 10 minutes but I kept on spitting.The fag meter stick doesnt go down if you left it alone,its when you sucked it then it will move or should I say goes down and thats only by abit.So,I had more than 5 sampoernas,Im sorry guys(Remy and Fad) you know Kid,Din and Apen deserves it because when you guys see your love ones,you forgot about the lovely fags and you know we cant stop.I smoked non-stop.After one stick has done I got the urged to have another.And that goes for the Gudang Garam too.Syarif left me with 5 sticks of it.And I'm left with another one more which im going to smoke later before heading to sleep.

And diary,you should know Im easily addicted to something whether its a person or not.So please excuse me for now.

After leaving tuition,I walked to PH causeway and saw a injured rat.I felt so curious and trailed it around.Somehow,rats are cute but they are dirty.The rat moves at a very slow pace and I should bring a cat to let it eat the rat.Have my fun and PH but Su and Faizul had an silent agruements.So I followed Zul to Mos Burger as he wanted to buy his milkshake.I kept pestering him to talk about what had happened and he kept quiet and his sangfroid.I feel scared when he kept quiet you know.He is so mysterious sometimes.I ate the new pizza,Meat Lover but it doesnt satisy me that much.

We went to Sembawang Shopping Centre after that to see the CHAMPS challenge.Yati and Evelyn was involved and the first thing she saw me is that,

"Eh cam kenal jek?Cam kenal jek?"

I was laughing my head off because recently she gave me a testimonial.Im sorry if I didnt attend the chalet because no one informed me anyway.And the stupidest thing she said just now infront of Kak Yana was,

"Da sombong pe kerja LJS""

And it was loud.Faizal and Dan was,

"Bodoh nye dia ni.Diam lar...."

Yes yati,so stupid arent you?Luckily Kak Yana didnt hear it.And to cover it,she start praising my drawings on my file.I saw the duo did their CHAMPS CHALLENGE and it was super cool.They used up only 5 minutes to clear everything on the table and start everything anew.The fastness,the response and somehow it looked like they are in a studio.So I paired up with Faizal as a customers and we get to eat free chicken drumsticks and a large pan hawaiian.I am full so I just ate a bit.And Yati and Evelyn was like,Hi,how are you?Courtesy Courtesy Courtesy.

Yati,Yati.Is it because of her cuteness that made me fond of her last time?Hmm.Till there misunderstandings between me and her bf.And it was a long time ago.The sleepless night thinking of her safety after she went home from clubbing.

The boys in school Parkour today and I realised Im not afraid of heights anymore and I faced it.Great,but my stamina is running low so I working on it.We ran away from Police just now.We met up at Vista Carpark after frantic search from me and Fazrul we decided to award ourselves a cold packet of ice Milo from the Kopitiam.It was then Fad called our names.My left leg hurt like crazy when Remy decided to bite me and I fell after hitting my leg on the edge of the curb.Blood flows and blueblack follows.Thanks Remy.Thank you for your venom.

Are we left with only stares and glances and turns away when one noticed now?Are you trying to tell something?Or is it my imagination that drives me nuts?Or do you read or care about this diary now?Or do you care anymore about me?If it thats what we are only left with then...then...*silence*

If you really know how hard for me to approach you after school when I see you walking home alone.But Im scared that you wont care.So I stopped.And stopped....

P.s.Would you reply if I gave you my Suicide letter?

3:00 AM