basically. on the way to my house. i feel abit sad. so i made up a song. inspired by Set Your Goals. and the song is basically about my life. the way i end up with so many sacrifices done. i thought i was alright. but i was wrong. the only things that i get was just be patience. but they dont understand. how the family rushed through things. how the family assumed me as.


and i feel impatient easily.so when i get angry and did something wrong. it was i who swallow the blame and the pain. i just dont want to argue about anythings anymore.i feel tired. feel low self confidence. my job my money. sometimes its unfair. when people move on. while u stay down getting fired from work or get work with shitty pay and supervisors who bossed you around. u are treated liked a dog instead of human down there. and when u thought of it, you are just mere 18.


deep down.i feel the bruise. people make it like as if im the cause. people make it like im the only person who talk in circles. but no. is okay. i just lost the confidence to live in a life where its only me who have to swallow.


the familiar dimly lit pathways,
the one that leads to the door to my home,
the hall is dark and i cant see,
cant wait to crash into my room,


and we all cant stand the pain,
the pain that creeped into our veins,
its not that i dont care,
but im seeing people moving on with a new life,


and we all had our tough times,
but why mine keeps compiling,
and it poisoned my mind,
that im just good at ruining things,


sometimes i just feel nobody ever wonders,
about my whereabout so i can just disappear,
and it feels okay, that i feel the desperation,
so i will reach out for some acceptance,


it feels so hard to swallow the blame,
(but this moment i will keep)
it feels so hard to see em moving on,
(and when you're the only person who stays)
it feels so painful to see them contented,
(and i will keep just to make sure im still alive)


and i will keep, the moments of my desperation,
and i will keep, the way i begged for some acceptance,
and i will keep, the feelings when i feel down,
and nobodys there but to left me out,


if only i could be stronger,
if only i could see the message,
if only i knew the feelings of getting blamed,
and still nobody is there anymore.

12:25 AM