 Thursday, August 28, 2008
pardon me, a man with no feelings at all, the one who slaps and beats his love one, the one who never talks about her, the man, who speaks of love and yet, so arrogant, would you spare a penny to me my friend? for i am heavily in debts, with no money, the one who punched his dad, straight to the chest, would you, my friend, still provide me a listening ear? i am just like you, born with no abnormal in me, with warmth from both parents, much appreciated, but my decisions, so drastic, it destroyed them, i am the one who speak of changes, yet never did any of them, would you still lend me a helping hand? if i spoke of my history, and yet never understand em, yet i still make up excuses to run away from my lies, my name is apen, my friend, i swear and curse to every little things in life, yet i seek god help and forgiveness to lighten my burden. and yet, i still made alot of sins, enjoyments for this one life, i am hate, and hate is what dwells in me, but i like to call my friends up, asking what they are doing, a bit of cursing of course, thats normal in my friendship, sometimes, i just wonder, am i the only one doing all this? sleeping at 4 am everyday, smoking 2 sticks before i can sleep, my friend, i am loved by somebody, yet i always mistreated and accused her wrongly, always thought of the negative side of her, always want to win, always engaged in a very heated arguement, and cursed her badly, a man liked me, deserves to rot in hell, tie me on a wooden pole, and stone me as well, take away my wealth and my love ones, i will die of course, suffering the neglections from people, im typing all these, confessing the sins i did all this time, not for sympathy, not for entertaiment, for i have lost my feelings for life, taken away, by the big man above, so that i will learn to appreciate things more, i envy all the happiness humanity had in life, suck in all the egos and drained myself in sorrows, this is apen for you my friend, in case you havent know me, i am still walking on this earth, happy as a lamb, but we all had our darkest secrets in our life, and this is mine, im trying to forget it, just like how my grandmother, she have forgotten how i looked like, work and money took me away from my best ones, and i am trying very hard to understand human being, doing trials and errors, losing somebody each time i'm done, i wont ask your help even if i needed too, liked i said, im ego and sometimes, it gets the better of me, so would you still treat me like im a human being? even if i dont treat you well but care is what i can give you, and you can take my heart as well, do take it for granted, just liked how i take everythings for granted only to lose it, this is apen for you, my friend, i am an asshole, i spoke not of low-self esteem but the truth, and now, would you still appreciate me as who i am? or would you walk away, feeling sorry on what i have become? |
myself 
who am i? turning 20cents this year.(18 at heart). wandering around a small city called singapore is the most favourable pastime we all liked to do. sure you can complain but nothing beats the safety and security here. a city so small that somewhat, each of us is connected. such as your bapok used to be my bestfriend and the shotgun marriage girl next to your door used to be the brightest student in class. so yeah. i love it here. XD so yerp. serving my ns right now. basically im wasting time and using up the money they gave me. nodding my head in agreement to what they say and to look at em with the brightest eyes i could give. cant wait to go back to school and see all the little boys and bitches act like as if they know everything. 02 december 2010. world cup and ORDoooo!!! lol. thats as much as i could fill you in. anyways, does anyone knows how to permanently remove a moustache? mom says its a man thing but i think people with moustache are the most evil person on earth cept for dad. and oh lastly, i love my friends as much as they love me eventho i dont know how the fuck people calculate love. what measurement unit is it suppose to be? kilovegrams? and oh wait! when a friend came up to you and say, "Relax, theres many fishes in the sea." Do remember to give a middle finger and say this, "fishes? theres more bitches in there eating up all the fishes now." look around dear friend, sex is important to us now, that some of the youth considered it as a 2nd Language. :D |