whats the use of confessing all my mistakes in this goddamn blog when people just keep telling me that i dont realise my mistake? its like a mere shot to the villain that could be heard around the world but still people move on and forgets about it. its like you have to built a monument so that people could remember you. YOU.

the world against me. i can sense it. it could be anyone i could pinpoint but for what for? because, i dont even give a damn. okay fine. pretend it and tell everyone i am fighting an imaginary walls. i dont care. i could have swear if i got the power, i would clearly sent those people who made me so miserable and put me into frustration to the gallows. i dont even care whether i helped you before. all i care is you fuckers dont even care about me. yerp me.

and i know some of you are frustrated about me. because i keep letting go of someone and pulling em back. fuck. dont even you guys know what the fuck am i doing before you said something or keep on the blaming? i could like join my friends and fuck a whore or play behind her back if i wanna. but i dont.

do any of you guys, even think about me, sitting here, smoking my lungs out. reflecting what am i going to do and what not to do. do you even listen closely to me or even, take notice every mistakes i did, it shuts my mouth and scatters all my secrets everywhere.

the bottom line is, i am tired. tired of being scared of what people might think. tired that every steps i did is just a mistake. we all sometimes said the things we dont want to do, only to do it sometimes without someone else noticing.

maybe i should listen to what mum's said last time. maybe i should like fcuking dropped everything and just run. run from the life i grew comfortable of. moving forward and looked back to my screw up teenage years. work and work and pretend i dont have any friends anymore.

thank you.

2:26 AM