so i have to put some silence in my life.

here i am, back home 0830am after a wild and careless night. i couldnt care less about what happened. i realised all these while i have been wasting time and money at zouk. but its okay. all of it is worth spending for i am trying something new. the different company i had, the ones from my platoon, i learnt that i cant really stick to my friends i had before. we shared the different set of prespectives, all different footsteps from where i've been walking. its not as if i didnt blend in, i did. but day by day as time pulls me away, i'm begining to think myself as a stranger to them.

casted away to one side. never had the chance to speak up my mind (maybe at times but all disagree anyways) or given the chance for opinions. sad and lonely, i tried to seek new excitements in life. talking to strangers and making friends with em. what connections it will lead, i don't know. its like i am holding to one end of a rope and you're holding to another. as we walked and walked, we didnt realised someone cut it in between. so we keep on walking, never to realise that we are no longer connected.

maybe thats life ey? how easy can a person forget us and how easy a person can find something new. liked me, on how i did to someone. maybe people who happened to know my blog, will laugh while pointing fingers at me. and i will feel so ashame and i will go back to my isolation room.

but the isolation room isnt safe anymore. it has hate messages on the cracked wall. it has the number of years i spent in it. the cracked wall. an attempt to break in by angry mobs. the mobs that i once made a mistake to their lifes. it maybe less than 10 people but their anger multiply em by many. but my instinct told me, i am safe. when im scared, i will always run here. from the grilled window, i can see the angry mobs waiting for me under the hot sun. they didnt knew i had a secret passage which i created that leads me to my life. once im out, i start to rebuild my life again.

jeez. i shouldnt be saying all these. warrant authur was right when he made that speech. as a soldier, you need fighting spirit. without the fighting spirit, how can you be a soldier? how can you do your routine without professionalism? i really admired him when he gave us speeches. it all made sense. it really wake me up most of the times.

hrmm. i need some sleep now. good morning singapura...

this is platoon2 favourite song. extracted.

looking all around us, people everywhere,
children having fun, while we are holding guns,
have you ever wondered?
why we must serve? cause we love our land,
and we want it to be free.

8:30 AM