betrayal,
an act you commited without thinking ahead,
i will stop this moment and break it out to you,
that i no longer care and it doesnt matters anymore,

hypocrisy,
an act of desperation to get me down under,
as we all finds out who our true friends are,
promised to something broken, that leads to nothing,

we were all misunderstood yet we said we understand,
how do we end this? saying the things people wants to hear,
being too opened up and let them in just to hurt us all,
nobody will take the blame, stealing everything inside,

somewhere at the back of your mind, the flashing memories,
still haunts you, like as if its happening again in your eyes,
i stood by and will keep the world still, and turn it back,
we will watch our mistakes that destroyed us all,

the sun replaced by dark, grey heavy clouds,
and it ruins the day that i ruined myself and my love ones,
whispers and random conversations surrounded me,
as i knelt down, hoping the rain will keep my hands clean,

i wished for a place to hide, a room with empty white walls,
as i filled my head with anger and vengence, hurting myself,
and i now no longer could, blamed the pain to no one, as it all,
comes back to me, like a gun that suddenly backfired,

the finely plucked guitar chords seems so familiar now,
as i finally looked into the mirror, showing not myself,
but a one way door with a knob on the inside,
and i realised that theres no one that could get us out,

cause we are the only ones who have been waiting,
searching so blindly till we have forgotten to turn the knob,
and escape the facade thats pushes us into isolation,
burn it down, the room with empty white walls..

you know, when its time to go. its really time to go. when your heart suddenly feels heavy and your body felt like it doesnt belong there, and your brain will say,

"come on (insert your name here). you dont belong here anymore. listening to the rumours and how your presence doesnt have any effect on anyone. maybe you're off better somewhere else. somewhere deserving"

so you begin to hide. far from people's eyes. hoping to find some peace or plan some escapade to overcome the fear. the fear of being alone. to tell people you're busy when all this while, you are busy just to let your mind rest. paranoia slowly creeps in.

i had enough of what you said about my friends at times. you just want to bring me down. and it seems since theres no problems with me and my friends, why not just let it be. its not as if, humans dont talk bout people back. we all do. cause its normal.

and i had enough of people telling me what to do and i too had enough of being suspicious to people whom i always trust. its time to let things go as it is meant to be.

shame on the people who keeping talking about me when all they know is my name. shame on the people who thinks im still the same person 4 years ago. we all grew up and thats where you kept forgetting. if you really want to see actions you just had to wait for the right time it suddenly shot right infront of you. cause its been planning all along.

i have yet alot to learn and same goes to you. the only difference between me and you is that, i dont judge people straight away. i gave them chances despite the risks and doubts im having. make good decisions. think and blend. dont just cut in and tell people what to do. for we as a human being, cant really predict the outcome and its preferable if we keep our mouth shut. that just shows how scared you are of life.

if you are reading this, pfft, wth i'm saying, you dont even knew that my 5 years blog exist in the first place, and since you don't know about it, you are missing one of the most important lessons in your life. =D


p.s assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.

2:27 PM