its been several days i cant stop the nightmare i keep having. everytime when someone wakes me up, i will liked sit straight up with the shock on my face. its liked as if my soul dived right into my body. the other day, ruzaini woke me up and my immediate reaction was to slap away his hand. he was surprised as i could tell from his face. even nizam told me about how strange the way i woke up so suddenly. like as if in my sleep, i really want to wake up.

i feel disturbed. everytime, i woke up, i prayed to God to give me at least some strenght to make it through the day. and i realised, no ones really listening and he is the only i can look forward to. nowadays, i find its hard to look backwards thru the history of time as every moment i thought about it will appear in my dream..

the other day, Warrant Tamil rode past me with his R1. i said good morning to him and the way he sounds and the moustache on his face, he really resembled my favourite late uncle. how i missed him terribly. the way he joked with us and how closed he is with my dad.

why does all the good people have to disappear in my life? what did i do in the past that made me so miserable today? even the past is terribly miserable to remember. haiya.. sometimes i even questioned god, why not just take me from all these good people instead of taking em away from me.

whats the point of life when you are just an empty shell where people take refuge and walked away once you're worn out...


i can't believe how much things have changed,
its took some time for me to take notice,
that there's a hole at the hull of my ship,
so i took my time to thought about it as i'm sinking,

looking back i still remembered no one's listening,
but i was smiling to live the day all the time,
before the heartache found itself a place in me,
and i realised it was too late to make it go away,

come right in, let me tell you the point in life,
maybe you won't believe the words coming out,
from a tired man, but he was just liked you,
wore and torn through the better days in different times,
like a bird that used to fly, theres sadness in their eyes,
whenever they left their home to build a new nest,

sing me a song to make it all simplify,
maybe it will take these feelings away and please,
don't forget to bring me to a better place,
can't look back to the days i can still remember,
for it all falls back to the same place, another heartache,

cant really look at people's eye without telling a lie,

its so hard to look forward when today just gone liked yesterday,
i can't really explain to make you understand,
cause you will never know whats inside my empty heart,

and i asked myself,
what's life about and what have i learnt..

5:51 PM