Sleep is also known as i'm awake
Addicted to the easy life that everybody hates
I wonder should i call you or just stare in space again
There's always a beginning on your end

Somebody get me off this lonely sad parade
The differences a hundred miles but a couple months away
I'm saying hello just to say goodbye

You must be tired of waiting
Or making plans to go
Somewhere between an empty feeling and the worst one that you know
But i am saving every photograph of you
So every lie i live i see the truth

Cold december just got on the board
And every noise reminds me of the suitcase by the door
I wonder should i wake you up, i watch tv instead
These idiots are making me forget

How much you always forgive everything i do
The time and space begin of certain if i'm coming back to you
I'm saying this to let you know i try..

i just reached home. im very tired and worn out right now. yesterday duty was crazy. i had to run here and there and to make it worse, it rained in the morning. now, im fcuking feverish. and to make things even worse, i received a call and had to book in again by 2359. WTF?

stress sia...today and yesterday had been hard on me. with heavy duties because not enough manpower and furthermore, theres in-pros coming in. and we got like 480 nsmen coming in on friday. ruzaini is being a bitch by doing the plans like some motherfucker who cares about himself. and today we had to stay untill 5pm because we had to recap on search and arrest and our m16 technical handling test.

i feel like theres a war. like one battalion of some foreign soldiers wanting to attack our camp. instead we got motherfucking inspection tomorrow. fuck uh. i feel like fuck right now. feel so fucking useless too as people claimed i made up their problems.

i rather be a fucking infantry where i go fucking overseas to do some real shit instead of staying here at fucking singapore.fuck you all uh.

and to make it worse. nothing is making feel better. even punching the walls and doing like extra exercise. i am so mad. mad till i wanna punch myself straight in the face and fucking bleed.

fucking pussy.

urgh. anyways, my boyanese friend, nizam doesnt need to transfer to team 2. a boogus for me since we are close friends in camp. so yeah, another good news is, he wanna give me a lift to work later. so i dont have to be a fucking pundek sitting in the train looking at dull people...

haiya. k then. tc.

i took a bullet this time around. and the worst part, it doesnt kills me nor make me stronger. just bleed.

the less we see the beauty, the more we see these mess. in your room, you see a painting on the wall but you don't see me at all. i know you're lonely too, i'm sleeping between trucks thinking of you...

p.s. i always think that my life is really connected with nufan songs.

7:01 PM