 Sunday, May 03, 2009
so many things in my mind. i cant seem to rest. only to wake up to be in a nightmare. or to sleep and slipped into a nightmare. my mind seems to be calculating a lot of things, but my heart, it bears no emotion. it sucks to feel like this but hey, im used to it. even some of my friends called me heartless. its because i dont seem to have emotions. i dont know where all of it went. maybe when my first love one left me so hopelessly, my emotions completely drained out. yes at times, i can feel sad and happy but most of the time, i feel like im dead. you know how sad it is, to finally know you're just as good as dead but still walking around? when all the problems that you're facing, you just shut up and let it piled inside. hoping some day, you just might get rid of it. thats what im trying to do. to get rid of it. i cant helped it but when i felt the pain in my chest when im running, i just feel so good. or when my muscles ached and my arm cant move anymore, i just feel so alive.. i feel so.. human again.. pain is a pleasure? lolol! and furthermore, its hard to make a person understand and to see them doing it over and over again. guess, ive come to a conclusion in life. since i dont want to feel neither hurt or to be thought as too fussy, i will get rid of what i feel completely. then from there, nobody will complain anymore. "love is what keeps us alive but it kills me on the inside because i wanted to keep love alive." but at the end of the day, liked i always used to say, "butoooo laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" so yah. i moved on very fast. LOLOL |
myself 
who am i? turning 20cents this year.(18 at heart). wandering around a small city called singapore is the most favourable pastime we all liked to do. sure you can complain but nothing beats the safety and security here. a city so small that somewhat, each of us is connected. such as your bapok used to be my bestfriend and the shotgun marriage girl next to your door used to be the brightest student in class. so yeah. i love it here. XD so yerp. serving my ns right now. basically im wasting time and using up the money they gave me. nodding my head in agreement to what they say and to look at em with the brightest eyes i could give. cant wait to go back to school and see all the little boys and bitches act like as if they know everything. 02 december 2010. world cup and ORDoooo!!! lol. thats as much as i could fill you in. anyways, does anyone knows how to permanently remove a moustache? mom says its a man thing but i think people with moustache are the most evil person on earth cept for dad. and oh lastly, i love my friends as much as they love me eventho i dont know how the fuck people calculate love. what measurement unit is it suppose to be? kilovegrams? and oh wait! when a friend came up to you and say, "Relax, theres many fishes in the sea." Do remember to give a middle finger and say this, "fishes? theres more bitches in there eating up all the fishes now." look around dear friend, sex is important to us now, that some of the youth considered it as a 2nd Language. :D |